I know! I’m late posting this. I didn’t even post last week!
What was that thing about not having to be perfect?
Not having to be perfect or the best is still something I need to work on, but I am working on it. This is big for me. I don’t only have an issue with wanting to be the best, but if I’m not excelling at something, I give up. *AH!* Obviously, I know that you can only get the be better at something by continuing to do the thing.
BUT THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!
I want to be awesome the first time I do a thing. How unreasonable! This is why I skipped last week. I thought I had nothing to say. I thought, “who cares about this blog, anyway?” I thought, “what’s the point?” Then I remembered why I’m doing this hundred new things project! That’s to break out of my habits (my negative ones, anyway). It’s to push myself to do things, even if I’m not good at them. To keep trying.
I don’t only apply my unreasonable attitude with perfection to being the best. I also want the best. *yikes. I’m really giving away a lot of myself here.*
This does not apply to my friends and family. I do not expect them to be the best. I am very forgiving and understanding when it comes to people. (and if they’re the best, how can I be? …obviously!)
Let me explain, what I mean by needing (wanting) the best.
I will go shopping, and there will be an item I want, let’s say a notebook. I love notebooks. Different notebooks are good for different things, but this time I just want a simple notebook for nothing specific. I will stand in the isle of these notebooks for twenty minutes, picking them up, opening them, just staring at them. Maybe I’ll walk away for a while and think about them. I mean, it’s just a notebook people! It doesn’t have to be so serious. To me, however, I have to find the very best one because there’s always that doubt of “what if I pick the wrong one?” or “what if I find a better one?”
This is how I am. Constantly.
- What or where to eat?
- What to wear?
- Which book should I read right now?
- Red bow or blue bow?
- Should I put this sentence in or not?
- What should I do with my life?!
The people who know me, can verify this. I don’t make decisions well. I second guess myself. You’ll hear, “it doesn’t matter” but mostly, I mean, I don’t know what is best and instead of stressing myself out about it, I’d rather you decide for me.
( It’s really not always this bad, but just so you get the idea how incredibly ridiculous some of us can be about perfection)
Most of the time, my first thought is really what I should do, what I want to do, but I can’t let it be. I have to look at every possibility. This is what makes deciding so difficult.
I picked up this book, at the LIBRARY! (oh, Hello! new thing!… I don’t go the library because I like to own my books, but, turns out, the library is pretty awesome!)
In Blink, Malcolm Gladwell, discusses how we make decisions, good and bad, and why some people are so much better at it. He shows by example after example how most truth comes from the fast, unconscious thought; how we feel, instantly, in that one moment. The book showcases how too much thinking and research can, sometimes, hurt us or cause us to make a false or wrong choice. Making a good or bad decision is less about how much information, but what information, we take in. He also shows that these decisions we make in an instant are much more complicated than we believed: how one thing can make us feel so differently, without us having a clue of what that thing is or why it changes us, and how we can make better decisions in our everyday life.
It is completely fascinating!! I loved every story. There was a story of Coca-Cola and Pepsi, that I particularly found interesting, of course. Sure, it’s making me think, but I’m human, we’re made to think. Now, I’m learning what and where to focus my thinking. It has also sparked an interest in understanding thinking and our actions more! I want to learn how to read people better, how to judge what they really mean or feel or want. So much of what we say is false, even when we think it’s true. We try to make sense of our decisions, justify our decisions, but in reality, for the most part, we don’t truly know why we decide what we do.
Well, I want to know! uh oh! is this my perfectionism again? hmm.. I guess, “I am what I am.”
So it will be to the library some more to continue learning about thinking and making decisions and our subconscious!
Have you read this book, or any of his others? How did you like them? I’d love to know! :)
As for the #hundrednewthings I:
- went to a record store and bought two records of artist I’ve never heard of and listen to them. (I liked both: Tormé is well know, apparently, and has a very “rat pack” sound to his voice, so, obviously I liked him. Tom Brown is very jazzy.)
- picked up a book (from the library!) on environmental science to learn about it more.
- Started reading Scientific American magazine. The first issue I bought is all about Dinosaurs! (I’m all about learning right now)
- Ate a veggie burger (from b.good- it was amazing!)
- Taught my first workshop!
- learned a new way to wear a scarf (that I love)
- read the newspaper
- started building a rocket! (thanks, and with help, from my awesome boyfriend.)
- tried papaya (it’s weird…)
- ran (in doors. but seriously, I actually ran.)
Join the fun! I’d love to see what new things *YOU* are trying!
Use the hashtag #hundrednewthings to share!
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